he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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