No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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