we have officially lost it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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