someone threw a dead crab at me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
