I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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