I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize