you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Two words: nipple clamps
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