One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
