I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
