My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
