he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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