Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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