the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
