this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
is wine microwaveable?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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