Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
