What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
