she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
