Pants 0. Shit 1.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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