he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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