you traded sex for a burrito?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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