We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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