He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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