Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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