Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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