Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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