JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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