I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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