he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
