you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
