i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
