She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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