if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
