My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
