I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
