i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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