Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by

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  (516): U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by http://tfl.nu/oseu
  Replies (4) Good night (2779) Bad night (380) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"

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  (407): I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays" http://tfl.nu/5s21
  Replies (38) Good night (3481) Bad night (729) Order T-Shirt
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.

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  (256): There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it. http://tfl.nu/68k2
  Replies (17) Good night (716) Bad night (3094) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.

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  (919): My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq. http://tfl.nu/vzq9
  Replies (6) Good night (3510) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.

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  (816): I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book. http://tfl.nu/rwum
  Replies (44) Good night (700) Bad night (10272) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.

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  (651): I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol. http://tfl.nu/cmai
  Replies (21) Good night (3544) Bad night (571) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom

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  (206): He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom http://tfl.nu/tvji
  Replies (25) Good night (1301) Bad night (4164) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile

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  (402): Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile http://tfl.nu/7vam
  Replies (22) Good night (831) Bad night (4978) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.

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  (248): I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk. http://tfl.nu/wafm
  Replies (15) Good night (5099) Bad night (932) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.

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  (423): It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin. http://tfl.nu/eslz
  Replies (5) Good night (2270) Bad night (652)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.

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  (931): I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that. http://tfl.nu/d355
  Replies (6) Good night (837) Bad night (1335)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood

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  (+61): we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood http://tfl.nu/ba4y
  Replies (4) Good night (1105) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.

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  (203): we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date. http://tfl.nu/dia7
  Replies (9) Good night (628) Bad night (1210) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.

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  (703): To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads. http://tfl.nu/17wa
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (211) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.

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  (306): Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am. http://tfl.nu/zysn
  Replies (3) Good night (485) Bad night (99) Order T-Shirt

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