We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
