Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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