is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
