as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
