I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
