your room smells of hookers.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
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Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?