you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Whats that? My new stripper name?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.