I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.