I think my vagina is haunted
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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