just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
