You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
