id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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