How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
