you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
