It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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