yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
