this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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