he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
