I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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