my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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