Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
