That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
