You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
