They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
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We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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